


through the dark

by ultralghtbeam



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Depressive Episode, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Light Angst, M/M, keith is a supportive bf, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-07 13:18:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12233646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultralghtbeam/pseuds/ultralghtbeam
Summary: Lance is broken and Keith is there to help pick up the pieces.





	through the dark

**Author's Note:**

> hi welcome back :) i had an urge to write so here u go lol right now its 1 am and im so tired
> 
> this is a vent fic and i was feelin a little sad so i basically wrote a story about my insecurities
> 
> the title is from through the dark by one direction because it fits well with this fic. enjoy :)

His texts have been one worded answers all day, and to say Keith was worried is an understatement. Usually Lance would answer his texts with a bunch of emojis and caps but today… something felt _different_.

His hands gripped the steering wheel as he turned the corner. Keith knew Lance liked to be alone when he was sad. But Lance had been sad for the past week and Keith just wanted to see if he was doing okay. Because that's what good boyfriends do, Keith bought him his favorite candy. He hoped Lance wouldn't kick him out.

He pulled into the empty parking spot in front of Lances' apartment and jumped out. He ran to the door and frantically searched for the spare key Lance had given him a couple of months ago. He unlocked the door and took his shoes off. "Lance? Are you here?"

No answer.

Keith shut the door and walked to his room as he put down the bag of candy. He quietly opened the door so he wouldn't disturb Lance if he were sleeping, but as he walked in he didn't need to be quiet.

He found Lance sitting upright in his bed scrolling through his phone with a solemn look on his face. His face looked pale color and he had bags under his eyes. Lance looked up and smiled weakly at Keith, but Keith could tell he was forcing it.

"Hey babe. I didn't know you were coming over," he said, getting out of his bed to go give his boyfriend a hug.

"Yeah, you weren't really answering my messages, so I decided to come over and say hi. I brought some candy. Your favorite."

Lance hugged Keith tightly. He smelled like cinnamon with a hint of laundry detergent. They pulled away, and Lance walked out of his bedroom with Keith trailing behind him.

He found the bag of candy and sat on the couch while opening the box. Keith would've sat down too, but something in the air just felt so _awkward_ he didn't think it would be a good idea. The room felt tense, so thick a knife could slice through it. Keith had seen Lance on his sad days. Unfortunately, today felt like his sadness was bad. Like _really_ bad. Like something that he had been bottling up for so long he's ready to burst.

Lance broke the silence with an empty "I'm okay."

Keith shook his head. They've been through this a lot. Keith would know to let it go, but they need to talk about this. "No you're not. What's wrong? Today seems like it's bad."

"I said I was _fine_. Why don't you believe me?" Lance stood up, crossing his arms over his chest, suddenly looking defensive.

"I don't believe you because I know you, Lance. Why don't you just talk to me? Have you been taking your meds lately?"

"Yes I have! Why do you keep asking me if I've taken my meds?!" His voice had gone an octave higher, and Keith had a gut feeling this would turn into a huge fight.

"Lance, I care about you. I just want what's best for you," Keith said, exasperated.

Lance scoffed and walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water. He's been on medication for about six months, and it's been a rollercoaster. Some days he would feel fine, he'd laugh and hang out with Pidge and Hunk and go on dates with Keith. Some days he'd feel like nothing. He'd stay in bed all day, not drink or eat, and wouldn't contact anyone. No one really knew about his issues. Hunk knew about how he would get sad sometimes, but he'd never seen him at his lowest moments. Lance thought if they've seen him at his lowest, they would pity him. Make him feel _vulnerable_. He didn't like that.

When the cup was filled to the brim, Lance uncapped his meds and took one out. He swallowed it down with a gulp of water and went back to Keith, who was still standing. "There. Happy?"

"No. Why won't you tell me what's wrong? How am I supposed to know what you're going through if you don't tell me?" Keith was starting to get impatient. He just wanted everything to be okay.

"For the last time, I am fine! Nothing is wrong me, see? I just took my meds," Lance pointed to himself.

He sighed, "that's not the point."

"Then what is the point, huh?!"

"The point is I want you to be open with me! Tell me what's bothering you, tell me why you're sad, tell me why you feel like this!" Keith was now raising his voice. He wanted this to be over.

Lance started getting choked up. "You know I'm not an open person, Keith. You know I don't like opening up."

"For God's sakes, Lance, just _tell me what's wrong!_ "

All the walls Lance had up suddenly were being knocked down with a bulldozer. His eyes welled up with tears.

"Do you wanna know why I'm so depressed? Maybe it's the fact that I feel so shitty almost one hundred percent of the time. Maybe it's because I have some serious self worth issues that make me want to rip my hair out. I've been put down my entire life. The only thing I heard while I was in high school was 'great, but you could do better' like a broken record. Every report card, every grade I've ever gotten on a test was met with fake smiles and praises. There was always someone above me.

"Oh, and that's not it. Let's talk about the fact that I am a literal third, fifth, seventh wheel. When I'm with Pidge and Hunk, all they talk about is smart stuff like robots or calculus or something. They always leave me out of conversations and barely include me in anything. You and Shiro are pretty close, and probably more close than I'll ever be with either of you. Allura and Coran are barely apart and they always have something to talk about. And I'm just here, waiting for someone to notice me but no one ever does because they're all preoccupied with better people.

"I don't want pity. I don't like opening up. I'm scared of rejection and commitment and-and intimacy. Nobody knows about my depressive episodes, nobody knows about my medication because I don't like getting too close to people. They could easily leave your life and it's all just so overwhelming and-"

Lance finally broke, all of his insecurities out into the open. His vision became blurry from the tears pouring out of his eyes. He couldn't stop. He felt way too open and he didn't like it at all. The weight of his vent pushed him against the wall as he slid down the wall onto the floor. He pulled his knees to his chest and buried his head in his arms, too afraid to look Keith in the eyes, afraid he'll see rejection and pity in his eyes.

He sniffled and buried his head deeper. _I can't believe I just did this. I'm so stupid. He's not going to accept me. He's going to leave and never look back. He'll find someone better with less problems and less baggage. God, why did I do this?!_

In the middle of his inner monologue, Keith had walked over to the boy on the floor, and crouched down. Lance looked up to see Keith's eyes red and rimmed with tears. He looked heartbroken.

Lance leaned forward, but before he could do anything, he was engulfed in a pair of muscular arms. The feeling of being held and accepted made him cry even harder. He hiccuped and sobbed into Keith's sweatshirt, most likely getting spit and snot all over it, but he didn't care, nor did Keith.

Keith hugged him tighter, giving Lance a sense of security. Lance could feel his shirt getting wet with Keith's tears.

"I-I'm so sorry you feel like that," he whispered, "and I know I can't make that go away. I wish I could, holy _fuck_ do I wish I could just take away this sadness, but I can't. I didn't know you were going through this and I'm sorry that I wasn't there to help you through this before.

"I know I'm not very good at these things, but I want you to know I love you. I love you so much, Lance, okay? I would give you the entire fucking _universe_ if you wanted it. I want you to know that I am here for you, all right? I want you to call me or text me if you ever feel like this again. I will drop anything to be with you. You are _not_ a burden and I will _never_ leave you, okay?"

Lance shook his head and hugged Keith as right as possible, afraid he was going to slip out his fingers.

"You aren't alone. I have my abandonment issues, I have some walls up, and I'm afraid of commitment and intimacy, too. I want you to know you can talk to me about anything whenever. I also want you to know that you are not a however-many-number wheel. Pidge loves you, Hunk loves you, and so does Shiro, Allura, and Coran. Of course I love you more, but that's besides the point," he chuckled.

Lance let out a breathy laugh and kissed Keith's cheek. "I love you, Keith."

He grabbed Lance's cheeks and squished them together. "Lance McClain. You. Are. Important. Okay? You deserve the entire world and I _love_ you," he pressed a kiss to Lance's lips and helped them get up. 

“Babe? Thanks,” Lance whispered in Keith’s ear.

Keith smiled am pulled him closer, silently vowing to never let him go.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are greatly appreciated. i accept criticism as well so please comment some down below 
> 
> i hope you liked this <3
> 
> main tumblr: ultralghtbeam  
> vld tumblr: ethereal-mcclain


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